Visiting The Dead: All Saint’s Day in the Philippines Part 1

November 2, 2007

    I grew up in a closely-knitted clan. Although there are occasional rifts between some members, a gathering would surely bring us together, even for a couple of hours. Christmas, birthdays, and even funerals meant a big gathering. Women would prepare food while men would indulge in loooooong talks, and the intermittent swigs of beer. Of course, November 1 is no exemption.

    In the Philippines, it has been a custom that Catholic families would visit their departed loved ones on their grave. Days before the event, there would be someone (usually a young boy or the male in the family) who would go to the cemetery and clean the tomb of their dead. Mosses would be scraped off, and the tall grass would be trimmed. The letters in the tombstones would be painted in black or gold, while the tomb itself would be painted white (or sometimes green. i even saw a tomb painted in pink!). Since most of the public cemeteries are crowded, we have this so-called "apartment" type, where rows and rows of tombs are on top of each other, as if it was a building occupied by different tenants.

   Our family visits two cemeteries: one in Marilao (my mother's kin) and one in San Ildefonso (my grandmother from my father's side). In Marilao, we were lucky because our predecessors bought the lot instead of a space in the apartments. Three tombs on top of each other occupy the lot. The "first floor" houses the parents of  Lola Genia (my mother's aunt, 87 years old, the only living person among her family). The second floor houses three of her siblings, and the third floor belongs to 3 cousins and her brother's wife. We don't have any grand mausoleums made of granite and marble, but our place is easy to find since we are at the corner of San Lazaro and San Roque streets (yes, cemeteries have street names). We pay for the lot, but the contract for the payment of the lots were for 25 years. The contract lapsed last 2005, so mom paid for another 25 year. Next time, I would be the one who would pay for it, haha!

    The one in San Ildefonso is more "sosyal", as they say. My Anda Beneng, who died in 1995, used to occupy an apartment at the far end of the public cemetery. However, a new memorial garden was opened beside that cemetery. Since the owner of that garden is the boss of my aunt, they have the remains transferred. There are no tombs standing above the ground; one would only see tombstones on top of the bermuda grass. At least, we can use the space to place chairs for visitors. It's kinda funny though. I'm standing on top of my grandma. Well, I guess that's the reality of life. According to a popular kundiman, "katulad ng batong nasa daan/pagpanaw mo'y ikaw ang siyang tutungtungan…"